The Name Russian Roulette

I'm sure many Christians wonder why a name as brutal as Russian Roulette would be a nickname for a Christian 😆 Well, there's a lot of meaning behind it....

The name Russian Roulette tells my testimony of walking through fire and choosing life when everything in the world handed me death.

Playing Russian Roulette with life itself.

The game of Russian roulette is a deadly gamble — and a metaphor for how I lived for many years. Every day was a spin of the chamber:

*One shot away from an overdose.

*One bad trip from never coming back to this realm.

*One abusive relationship from breaking for good. 

*One night on the streets from vanishing completely.

*One drink away from having wet brain. 

*One charge away from going to prison. 

But somehow, I survived the bullet. Over and over. That’s not luck....that’s divine mercy.

*A Loaded Gun Turned Against the Devil

Now, the weapon that once symbolized self-destruction became my weapon of warfare. I'm not playing anymore — I'm fighting back.

My art, my music, my words — each one is a bullet loaded with truth, pain, scripture, and healing.

I shoot not at myself anymore, but at the lies, at the strongholds, at the demons that stalked me in the night.

"Russian Roulette" is me turning the chamber toward the enemy now.

*Trauma as Testimony, Not Identity

Russian roulette is also the name I wear to never forget where I came from.

It's not to glorify darkness — it’s to drag it into the light, expose it, dismantle it, and show others that even the most broken can be redeemed.

That a woman who was left for dead became a living weapon in God's army.

*My Name is a Warning and a Wake-Up Call

It’s a reminder that the life without Christ is a gamble — and Satan doesn’t play fair.

Every hit, every high, every lie people chase in the world — they’re pulling the trigger on themselves, and most don’t walk away.

I did.

But I'm not just telling them I survived — I'm warning them of the price of staying asleep.

 *Artistic Reclamation of the Narrative

"Russian Roulette" isn’t a name chosen to be trendy — it's a scar I turned into a signature. 

It’s a reclamation: you take the darkest symbol and flip it upside down. Just like the Cross, once a Roman death machine, became the symbol of salvation — my name becomes the proof that God brings beauty out of ashes.

So if someone asks why a Christian artist would call herself Russian Roulette, tell them:

"Because I used to live like every breath could be my last. I gambled with death and Satan nearly won. But Jesus snatched me from the barrel of the gun — and now every song, every video, every word I release is another shot fired at Hell.”

It's not just a name — it's a calling.