The Blood That Binds: Why the Family of Christ Surpasses Flesh and Blood

 

"When tradition becomes more important than truth, we drift into idolatry."

One of the churches I love and learn from recently shared a message about honoring your blood family—particularly your earthly father. Now, I understand the heart behind it, and I get that many Christians are blessed with tight-knit, godly families. That’s a beautiful thing. But I couldn't help feeling a disconnect. Not just because of my personal history, but because when I opened the Word, I saw something different. Jesus didn’t seem to glorify blood family the way we often do in church culture. In fact, He said something that directly challenged the earthly, traditional view of family.

 “And he answered them, saying, Who is my mother, or my brethren? And he looked round about on them which sat about him, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother.”

—Mark 3:33–35 (KJV)

 

I couldn’t stop thinking about this while watching the sermon. And the more I studied the Word, the more I realized—your spiritual family is of eternal importance, while your earthly family, unless they are born again, is of temporary importance. This doesn’t mean we don’t honor our parents (Exodus 20:12), or show love to our families. But our ultimate loyalty, love, and unity belongs to the body of Christ.

"And the truth is, if your blood family isn’t saved, they’re not going where you’re going. "

 

Some of us weren’t born into godly homes. Some of us were abandoned, abused, or used as pawns in toxic family dynamics. I personally grew up estranged from most of my family, and close only to a mother who later revealed deep manipulative traits—driven by what I now recognize as a Jezebel spirit. So, yes—someone like me is going to see this differently than someone raised in a peaceful, healthy Christian household with two loving parents and regular family nights 😂 

But it’s not just my opinion either. It’s Jesus’. And we must align with His truth over any earthly attachment.

 “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.”

—Luke 14:26 (KJV)

Jesus wasn’t saying to harbor hatred in our hearts, but to make sure our allegiance to Him was so supreme, that in comparison, every other love would pale. That includes our own family.

 “Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother…”

—Matthew 10:34–35 (KJV)

The truth divides. And the gospel often separates those in the same house. If your family rejects Christ, you have to make a choice—follow Jesus, or follow tradition. Jesus is clear. He must come first.

 

"And maybe that’s the blessing hidden in my childhood trauma. I don’t have idols to lay down. I’ve already lost what many fear to lose."

I’m not saying I’ll stop attending or learning from this church. God has still used it to bless me in many ways via many messages. But I no longer blindly agree with everything just because someone has a pulpit. Pastors, as well-meaning as they may be, still preach through the lens of their life experiences. My pastor grew up with a loving father who was also a pastor. That alone frames his worldview. But that’s not my story, and it’s not the story of many of us who were raised in broken homes—or raised by wolves, spiritually speaking.

“Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.”

—Colossians 2:8 (KJV)

When tradition becomes more important than truth, we drift into idolatry. And let’s be real—many people idolize their families. Especially their kids. And while children are a blessing from the Lord (Psalm 127:3), they are not God. Neither is your spouse. Neither is your mother or father.

 “No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier.”

—2 Timothy 2:4 (KJV)

We are in a war. A spiritual one. And anything—anything—that entangles us, weakens us...even emotional attachments to people we love, if they’re pulling us away from God, we have to repent and surrender them to Him. 

And the truth is, if your blood family isn’t saved, they’re not going where you’re going. That’s hard to say. But it’s biblical. We need to stop placating to everyone out of "kindness" by lying to them. If you're blood family doesn't know Christ, they won't be in heaven after they die. 

“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”

—Amos 3:3 (KJV)

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers…”

—2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV)

I’ve had to mourn family members while they were still alive—not because they died physically, but because spiritually, they were dead. And I had to walk away to follow Christ fully. Was it painful? Yes. But was it necessary? Absolutely. 💯

And maybe that’s the blessing hidden in my childhood trauma. I don’t have idols to lay down. I’ve already lost what many fear to lose. But in that loss, I gained everything:

 “And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.”

—Matthew 19:29 (KJV)

Now that’s a promise. That’s the Kingdom economy right there 😂 

 

So no, I don’t idolize family. I don’t cling to the flesh. I cling to faith. I cling to Christ and to my brothers and sisters who are born of the Spirit. That is my real family now.

And I say this in love: if you're reading social media more than you're reading the Bible, you’re starving your spirit. You know every trending opinion, but you don’t know the voice of your Shepherd. That’s dangerous. REPENT. Turn off the noise and get in the Word. The Bible says:

 “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”

—2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV)

 

Because if you don’t know the Word for yourself, you won’t be able to tell the difference between a pastor’s opinion and God’s truth. And no matter how much we love our pastors, they are still human. Only the Word is infallible.

I forgive my pastor for this message, because I believe he meant well. But I’m so grateful I read the Word for myself—so I won’t be deceived.

The blood that binds me now is the blood of the Lamb. And that family? That family is eternal. 🕊️